Mutterings and thoughts and of course grumblings

Mum and Auntie Eppie's gone back to HK. So I'm not as moody now, I think. I think it was just the stress of last week. And now I've got another set of photos up from grad.
You know what I've complained about before and will again now... my parents complaining about my too-low tops. Note the strategic positioning of the bouquet if you find yourself looking at My photos. I was looking at the photos on my mum's camera last week and I think I looked hot dammit! *licks fingertip, touches to hip, makes sizzle noise*

Dad's gonna be here til near the end of the month. Some consults need to be done, an U/S was done and found 2 small nodules on his thyroid gland. Nuclear medicine tests we're done as well but the nodules were too small to find anything conclusive. So now it's specialist consult time. Also he's going for a Ba enema next Monday so I'm gonna have to cook, watch him eat and drink and clear out of the bathroom for the day. Great, my room is next to the toilet, oh this is gonna be fun, but more fun for my dad. So we're praying it won't be cancerous and if it is, it'll be benign. Anything it is, I'm praying it's benign.

You know, I've been thinking about the future lately, and thinking about how friends are gonna go on double dates, gonna get hitched, not gonna go to Terrigal, make babies etc. I wonder if I'll be single when that happens. Not that I fantasise about having double dates, but when I see myself getting older, I see the Cantonese Wedding Door Game (yes Cat you can be my bridesmaid), I see the pregnancy (shock! horror!), I see the babe (even more shock! horror!) but I don't see the groom, I don't see the husband, the father, the sidekick, the worst half. So it wouldn't exactly be immaculate conception eh?
And I was talking about pregnancy to mum before, she was saying a Cantonese proverb, "The birthing mother signs a pact with Death." I wonder why so many women want to have children and lots of them. Do they really now the dangers of it? The real, life-threatening dangers? Haemorrhage, infection, and various other horrors like cutting! Cutting! Well once you get pregnant and can't get rid of it (I'm speaking historically now) there's no choice but to give birth. It's not like the babe's gonna hang around in the womb for the next few years. Thank God for contraception.
And another thing I was talking about in church to Mish about, doing nursing has changed my perspective and opinions on issues like abortion and euthanasia. If I knew my babe was only gonna live for few hours or a day, could you carry it to full term, have a dangerous childbirth, and watch the babe die in front of your eyes? There are things like 'giving the babe a chance to live' and 'playing god' but honestly, if I knew my babe would be in pain and suffering for the whole of their life, I couldn't do that. I couldn't make them suffer. Call me a hypothetical murderer but I don't think it's fair on the mother nor the father. And especially in sexual assault cases, could you look at the babe when everyday you're reminded of the crime which was done to you? I'm not so idealistic to say that 'It's part of you, you created it.' It wasn't created in love, it wasn't created in care and consent. And why should the mother carry it to full term, why should her life be violently interrupted from its path just because a gross crime was done to her?? Sadly I'm not thinking in the abstract.

Recent purchases:
- The Opera Box - 4CD album with lotsa operatic pieces. I've had 'Che faro senza Euridice?' stuck in my head after watching About the Looking for and Finding of Love. Also now I know where that darn staccato high note aria comes from, Die Zauberfloete.
- Darkwitch Rising by Sara Douglass - yays! Finally. I've been waiting over a year and a half to get the PB. But the last instalment's come out as well, but alas, I must wait for the library copy to come in coz I'm anal retentive and I like all my sets to be of the same height and size.